How to Identify Your IFS Parts
You know the feeling:
Part of you wants to start that project... and part of you wants to nap forever.
Part of you wants to be bold... and part of you immediately worries what people will think.
That’s your internal system at work.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), these conflicting voices are called parts—sub-personalities inside your mind, each with its own role, fears, and way of trying to help.
So how do you actually identify your parts?
This guide breaks it down into simple steps, with examples and journaling prompts to help you start recognizing your parts and building relationships with them—no therapy background required.
🧠 What Are IFS Parts?
In IFS, your psyche isn’t one single voice—it’s more like a team.
Your parts each have their own:
- Perspective
- Emotions
- Motivations
- Protective strategies
Parts can be:
- 🔒 Managers – Keep life under control (e.g. inner critic, perfectionist)
- 🔥 Firefighters – React quickly to shut down pain (e.g. avoider, emotional eater)
- 💔 Exiles – Carry past wounds and vulnerable emotions
At the center of it all is your Self—a calm, curious, compassionate leader that can relate to all your parts with care.
🔗 New to IFS? Start here: What Is Internal Family Systems?
🧭 Step 1: Notice Internal Conflicts
The easiest way to spot a part is when you feel pulled in multiple directions.
Example:
“I want to rest… but I also feel guilty doing nothing.”
Those are two different parts:
- One that wants rest
- One that fears rest will lead to judgment or failure
Whenever you feel stuck, conflicted, or reactive, ask:
“Is there a part of me that’s driving this feeling or reaction?”
You’ll likely start noticing patterns.
👥 Step 2: Get to Know Common IFS Parts
Many people discover similar patterns across their systems. Here are some recognizable examples:
🔒 Common Manager Parts
- The Perfectionist: Won’t let you fail—even if it exhausts you
- The Inner Critic: Believes tough love keeps you from being judged
- The People-Pleaser: Prioritizes others to avoid conflict
- The Over-Planner: Tries to prepare for every possible outcome
🔥 Common Firefighter Parts
- The Avoider: Uses distraction, numbing, or isolation to escape discomfort
- The Procrastinator: Delays action to avoid stress or potential failure
- The Angry Defender: Reacts quickly to perceived threats or disrespect
- The Impulsive Soother: Grabs food, alcohol, social media for quick relief
💔 Common Exiles
- The Shamed Inner Child: Believes “I’m not good enough”
- The Rejected Teen: Still carries pain from past social wounds
- The Griever: Holds sadness or loss that’s never been expressed
- The Scared One: Fears abandonment, punishment, or humiliation
These parts may show up as thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or behaviors.
✍️ Step 3: Journal to Identify a Part
Use this simple prompt to meet a part:
“What part of me is showing up right now? What does it feel like, sound like, or want?”
Then explore:
- What is it trying to do for me?
- What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?
- How long has it been doing this?
You can also try our guided journaling app, which helps you walk through this process with ease.
🧘 Step 4: Respond From Self, Not Judgment
Once you identify a part, the goal isn’t to fix it or push it away—it’s to build a relationship.
Try saying:
“I see you.”
“I get that you’re trying to help.”
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
This is how trust forms—and how healing begins.
🔗 Want help accessing Self? Read Self Energy: What It Is & How to Access It
🔁 Quick Summary: How to Identify Your Parts
- Notice internal conflict or emotional intensity
- Name the part’s behavior (e.g. judging, avoiding, overachieving)
- Ask what it’s trying to protect you from
- Listen with curiosity instead of trying to fix it
- Start a dialogue—in journaling or just silently